That Little Slut: Part II

When I was in high school I was very active in my youth group. Now this was not your grandma's youth group- this was spectacular. A group of young people who thought (knew) we were hysterical and had decent to above average skills in video editing. Somebody call the lotto because we've got ourselves a winning combination! So we set out to make many video adventures for our peers to enjoy at our Wednesday night meetings. They usually coresponded with the sermon given by our awesome Pastor Jason (PJ tha DJ!).

One such video was birthed when PJ chose a theme called "Superheros". You may have heard of them? His sermon was based around the fact that all people have the same, "power" (the breath of God) in them. Just as superheros and supervillians are all born with superior powers- so are humans. And like the "supers" we can choose to use it for good or evil.  

So it would make sense that my character in this video would be dressed in a white floor length flowing skirt. I would be wearing a white button up shirt with white elbow length gloves and would have my hair in a pony tail with a white ribbon in it. The dialogue at the Superhero check in table would go something like this,

Check in ladies (hurridly): Name
Me (enthusiastically): I'm SUPER V!
Check in ladies (inquisitively): And that stands for?
Me (matter of factly): Super Virgin.
Check in ladies (curiously): Super power?
Me (unrehearsedly): Saving virgins from not becoming not virgins... around the world!
Check in ladies (interestedly): And your real name?
Me (innocently): Chastity.

I was accompanied by many other young men and women who were willing to make complete fools of ourselves in order to help our beloved pastor with the task of a visual aid for his sermon. We featured characters including but not limited to: James Blonde (power: hot oil treatments), PMS Avenger (power: things in pink wrappers), Ultimate Hombre (power: never really disclosed), Flamer (power: fire), Drewperman (power: 5 finger discount), THE Gardner! (power: pruning sheers). Yeah... did I mention we're more like the Mystery Men calibre... but only a few notches under them.

Each of us was given a spot light where we really showed the world what we were capable of. In this video, I was filmed running into a jewelry store owned by a couple who attended our church.

"QUICK!" I yelled, "Give me all your promise rings!"
"Why should I give these to you?" He inquired, awkwardly.
"BECAUSE! There's virgins out there! Giving themselves away! HURRY!"
(He handed a collection of rings to me and I cupped them in my palm)
"YES! (power fist) Abstinance wins again!"

And I ran out of the store (and tripped. oops).

Years passed (but like a decade really) and on October 31st of 2010 I found myself doing an activity that I had never been presented with but could always see myself partaking in. A dream of sorts.

Sadly no, I did not get to motorboat a lion's mane and then be his little spoon while listening to my Al Green playlist (which IS on my bucket list, God willing-) But I did find myself dressed up for Halloween, at a bar AND flirting with boys. What? Now, I can't blame them, I am very gorgeous and my Halloween costume was quite spectacular (thanks Kim Walker!). You see, I was dressed in head to toe sequins and every so often I would rotate while my cousin shone a flashlight on me. What am I? A disco ball! (Yay.) So as you can see- I cannot blame a lad for being drawn to me, I'm basically awesome on all levels. Plus I have integrity and self control.

Or so I thought.

So give me a minute so I can back that thing up. Let me go ahead and fill you in on the holiday's activties. I had gone down to the Lone Star State to see my dear friend Brian graduate from basic training. Joining us were his wife (and my wonderful friend Kim), their daughter, his in-laws and our fabulous friend Candell. We all met in order to celebrate Brian's accomplishments at and graduation from basic. Interestingly enough, my cousin Brittanie was also at Lackland training to work with the K9 unit. So after Candell, Kim, Child and inlaws left on the 31st, I stayed behind and visited my cuz. That night we went out to celebrate halloween and I met a few of her friends. Brittanie was working the night shifts as were all my new friends from the night before. Except for one, so naturally, after Brittanie and I had the afternoons to chill she went to work and I got the number of the guy who had gone out with us the night before. Being he was the only soul on base I knew (if 18 hours counts). I asked him if he wanted to hang out. Turns out- we define that one differently.
Even though we were hanging out in Brittanie's hotel room- I tried to keep it platonic. I tried to steer the activties to be innocent and PG rated. Examples are funny youtube clips including but not limited to: funny things babies do (who needs condoms when you can plant the idea of child support in their minds?), and ugly people injuring themselves (I mean, they gotta know you're funny but you don't want them aroused). Eventually we even watched Sister Act because really there is no bigger boner shrinker than Whoopi. However, I really didn't stand a chance. For at the end of the day (movie)  I was 25. I was horny. I was sitting on a bed with a boy. And so, after their take of Peggy March's, "I Will Follow Him" concluded and (spoiler) Deloris didn't die; I looked over and saw a guy who was willing to smooch me. My internal pep talk was as follows, "Don't be a turd about this. Just... everybody be cool."

Well, we made out for an hour or so, and I probably gave that guy the bluest balls he's ever had (I really struggled with making that more lady like- but I know when I'm defeated). I assessed the situation and decided I was satisfied.

"You should probably get going, don't you have class in the morning?"

"Really Lisa? That's it."

"Yeah. See ya tomorrow maybe? Although I think we've had enough nice nice* if we meet tomorrow it should probably be in public."

"Sure. (Smile) Have a great night."

And I did. I had a great night. I called my dear friend Heather and filled her in on the nights' activities.

"YOU DID WHAT!"

I couldn't tell if she was disappointed or happy for me.

We discussed and I told her all the details (that I am not willing to share with you. I don't know you from Adam. You could be some sick s.o with a molestache and van full of candy ripping wifi off of a local coffee shop. Or even worse- you could be a parent. One of my parents. For the love of God stop reading! It's boring and it's riddled with grammatical errors. What have I done!?!). After making her privy to the events of the night she of course suggested I not see him again. (On the slippery slope theory).

But, like any person being led by their libedo, I had a Michael Jackson lyric playing in my head. And I would be damned if I stopped before I got enough. And quite frankly, I hadn't (gotten enough).

So the next night, I stuck true to my guns. I decided I would see him only in a public setting. I tapped into my only child abilities and entertained myself for quite some time. Despite the fact that I was flying out early the next morning, my cousin and a few of her friends and I were planning on going out when they got off work. So like any person who has no respect for other subcultures, I preoccupied myself by taking a nice long (unaccompanied) stroll through the base. I was never stopped but I'm sure they could tell I was an outsider. I was supposed to meet my cousin at 10:45. At 10:35 my new man friend texted me and asked my whereabouts (I had invited him to join the nights' festivities). Well what do you know I was near his hotel room. I agreed to go upstairs while he collected his things and then we would leave and meet Brittanie. I would not even be there 10 minutes.

Wro-ang.

Brittanie didn't get out till way late. I did not even hear from her until after midnight. And well, we'll just say a lot happened in the time gap.

I'm not going into the details (this is turning into a novel but not that type of novel) but I can tell you I was disappointed in myself. What I will tell you is this. Ears are apparently my kryptonite. Talk about earogenous zones (pun intended).

I inititally started this blog in early October of 2010. After this incident, I revoked my "virgin" status and decided that I was no better than that Mormmon girl. I was a big, dumb hypocrit. And even though the only people reading this blog were my friend Halie and another non confirmed reader that I am making up just to represent the unknown, I was still not comfortable coming on here and proclaiming my innocence.

I'm not familiar with "bases" but as they are defined by Urban Dictionary, we didn't even cross into second. However, I have very high expectations for myself and immediately I was overcome with conviction and remorse. After an explanitory conversation- I mean after a sudden transition from responding to sobbing, I felt it polite to explain if possible- I left and went back to my cousin's hotel room. He and I exchanged texts a few times but I'd be surprised if he has my number still.

After taking the past few months to work through this slip and to muster up the courage to write again, I decided that yes, I had made a mistake and I was not proud. But I think that night was a monumental one for me. I do not believe it was a landmark because of what I did, but because of what I did not do. It would have been very easy for me to continue on a certain course, but the real "stone pillar if you will, is the fact that I could have continued, and I made the concious decision not to. Up until this point, my decision to remain abstinent was largely founded on my church's stance of premarital sex and was nurtured by the fact that I had no prospects who would tempt me otherwise. I was never in situations where it was ever an issue. I chose my friends and companions carefully. I was not very good at interacting with males- so I never did. But in that moment I knew a decision had to be made to retract or proceed. That decision was no one's but my own. And I am pleased with it.

*Nice nice phrase taken from 30 Rock. Watch it and love it.